Defining Marriage

Elder Nelson taught one of the more demanding opportunities of our time is to stand as a disciple of Christ by standing up for truth regarding the sacred nature of marriage (Disciples of Jesus Christ-Defenders of Marriage, 14 Aug 2014, Commencement).

He said, “God is the Father of all men and women. They are His children. It was He who ordained marriage as the union of a man and a woman. Marriage was not created by human judges or legislators. … It was not created by lobbyists. Marriage was created by God!”

Who are we to alter what God created?

Yet that is what we have done.

In Obergefell v. Hodges (2015) the case asked the Supreme Court to review two questions: 1) whether a State must recognize a same-sex marriage that is licensed and performed in a State which does grant and recognize that right, and 2) whether States are required to license a marriage between two people of the same sex. The majority decision (5 of the 9 Justices) stated it was a constitutional right to extend marriage to include same-sex couples. At that point in time, only 11 states (including District of Columbia) had altered their definition of marriage to include same-sex couples. Whereas, 38 states had recently added (by a vote of the people) a clear definition of marriage as only between a man and a woman.

The dissenting Justices (4 of the 9) main argument against the conclusion was the process by which same-sex marriage was legalized: by five unelected judges. They took power away from the States, from the people, and from American democracy. The judicial branch interprets the law, it does not create the law.

So, where do we go from here?

Elder Nelson said we need to defend marriage.

How do we do that when the law was changed?

We continue the conversation. We continue to share our beliefs. We do not shy away from the topic.

Preserve the Family

I am one of those who believes deeply in the family. I believe that family needs to be protected and preserved. But what am I doing actively to protect and preserve it? 

First and foremost, I am trying to strengthen the bonds in my own family. This means sitting down and eating dinner together (without phones or other devices) as often as possible. This means doing activities together as a family. Whether it is watching a movie or television show as a family or playing a game together. My family, especially the children, love it when we spend time enjoying an activity together. It is through activities like these that we create opportunities for quality time together. 

Second, it means sharing the values and principles that will preserve the family. I think one challenge today is that the view of marriage has changed.

Marriage is a critical element for the benefit of the next generation. And yet, many people don’t believe marriage is important anymore. They believe that partnership can take the place of marriage. Yet these partnerships typically do not last as long as marriages. 

I believe one way to preserve marriage is to keep intimacy in marriage. Do not allow intimacy outside of marriage. The new social norm of “casual intimacy” seems to go directly against the ideals of marriage. Casual intimacy is an oxymoron, like jumbo shrimp. There is nothing casual about intimacy. Intimacy establishes a connection, a feeling of closeness and familiarity. These connections are what tether us to one another. They are the ties that bind people together. Those ties and tethers are what help us through difficult situations and circumstances. I want to be firmly tethered to a safe harbor. Marriage and family is that safe harbor. 

We need to turn away from “casual intimacy” and return to the institution of marriage. We need to preserve and protect the family. We can do this by strengthening the bonds in our own families.