Charity

This week we have finished reading two books on marriage: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman and Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage by H. Wallace Goddard. Both books are very valuable and well worth reading.

Why are there so many books about marriage? President Spencer W. Kimball said:

There must be something else then that makes marriages successful. The truth is marriage requires work. President Gordon B. Hinckley said: 

The problem is, there are many different opinions on what makes a marriage work.

I think the most important thing I’ve learned is that I need charity. Charity is the pure love of Christ. Goddard broke charity down into three parts: love from Christ, love for Christ, and love like Christ. First, we all receive love from Christ. We can feel that love as we realize and ponder the miracle of His Atonement for us. Second, “we love him, because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). We instinctively love Him in return when we feel the love that He has for us. Then, we try to love as Christ does. “That ye love one another; as I have loved you” (John 13:34).

Loving as Christ loves is not an easy task. It requires loving ourselves, our spouse, our family, and everyone else with the same purity as Christ.

How do we even begin to possess this pure love of Christ? First, it is a choice. We must choose to look for the good in others (and ourselves). Then we must “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ” (Moroni 7:48). Specifically, President Henry B. Eyring said:

When we pray for this love we will be blessed to see the good in our spouse. We will be blessed to have our own love grow. With that foundation of love, we can be more forgiving of ourselves and our spouse.