Forgiveness in Marriage

We are not perfect beings. We all make mistakes. Sometimes, we repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Usually, we are very aware of our own weaknesses. I know what things I need to work on. I am trying to do better. I know I am not perfect. I also know that I am not going to become perfect anytime soon.

But what about my spouse? I have to admit it is easy for me to get upset when he does something wrong. I seem to have a hard time forgetting past mistakes. I don’t usually think about those past mistakes on a daily basis. But when one of them is repeated (and I am inclined to be upset) all of a sudden every past instance is brought to my mind in clear details. It is as if I have some secret card catalog tucked away in my brain. Once that card catalog is triggered, all the cards come spilling out at once.

This is not a recipe for a happy, healthy marriage. This is no way to treat my spouse. If I had truly forgiven him of past mistakes, then why am I holding on to this card catalog in my mind?

President James E. Faust said, “We need to recognize and acknowledge angry feelings. It will take humility to do this, but if we will get on our knees and ask Heavenly Father for a feeling of forgiveness, He will help us.” (“The Healing Power of Forgiveness,” General Conference, April 2007). He continued, “The Savior has offered to all of us a precious peace through His Atonement, but this can come only as we are willing to cast out negative feelings of anger, spite, or revenge.”

It is only through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that I can let go of the hurt I feel inside. He has the power to heal. This concept is beautifully illustrated in the book, The Peacegiver: How Christ Offers to Heal Our Hearts and Homes by James L. Ferrell. I read it several years ago. I think it is time to read it again. I want to cleanse and purify my heart. I want to be healed by my Savior's love. I want to see my husband as he truly is --a son of God with the potential for perfection. Just like me.